Lady of Contentment

Hello fellow Blog readers! I have not abandoned you! I have to play catch up for everything I have read and I did not know where to start but, got to start somewhere.

Here’s what I have DONE since I last wrote: Things happened that shook up my life and tested a lot of the qualities I have talked about on here. I have gone to Panama for a week. I have been on a women’s retreat and on a personal retreat myself!

I was laying in bed the other night thinking about what a retreat was and couldn’t help but get a visual image in my mind. Me, standing in a field with all my fears, enemies, worst nightmares, worst thoughts, mean people, untrue yet haunting words, all waiting to attack me as I stand right in front of them like a battle was about to happen. Then I turn around and run in the other direction yelling, “Retreat!” So where have I retreated to? God’s hands. I’ve taken the past month or so to really retreat to him and “see the finer things in life.” Trying to stay connected to him and to the truth. I can’t help but wonder why so many times I’m in that same field standing nose to nose with everything negative like it is my battle to fight and more importantly my issues to control and solve, like I have the answers. I don’t have the answers though and that is why I’ve retreated and done my best to give it to him and trust in God’s will and plan for me.

So! Playing Blog catch up! I left off at being a Lady of Contentment. Satisfaction, happiness, and ease are some of the synonyms for contentment a.k.a. being patient and waiting. Here’s the main point: Waiting is not to cause suffering, but prevent it. Women experience so much needless pain when they run ahead of God’s format. AMEN!! Now, I’ve already discussed my “displeasure” with waiting and not being in control but this explanation in the book (Lady in Waiting, Becoming God’s best) makes perfect sense as it relates to relationships. The chapter discusses what they call “defrauding,” being led on and getting your hopes up only to be let down. Defrauding can be done by males, females, and ourselves to ourselves! Girls are really bad about doing this to ourselves and to our friends. When a girl-friend goes out on a first date, or a guy expresses interest in her, girls immediately start fantasizing about the future and what could be and how perfect things will be, and we haven’t even met the guy, but we’ve got it planned out! Our friend’s egg us on joining in the fantasizing and put even more ideas in our head and it keeps going and going, until it comes to an abrupt stop when the guy doesn’t call or pull through or these plans are not the ones God has for us. So then we’re sad, mad, disappointment, and in emotional distress and pain because our fantasy didn’t play out! OUR FAULT!!

“A gift greater than simply sharing your friends’ joy is to encourage your friend not to run ahead of the relationship through prenuptial fantasies. Many tears have been shed over relationships that never materialized except in one’s dreams.”- Lady in Waiting

We do it to ourselves and our friends by getting ahead of God’s plan and making our own! Now, girls aren’t the only ones to blame for this defrauding of women. Men defraud women too by instilling false hopes and acting interested even when they’re not, using “cutesy pet names” when they’re not interested, we misread intentions, etc. Thing about guys doing this Is, they’re typically clueless they’re doing it! So we need to take action and recognize these things, not read into them, clear things up in the beginning, set intentions and feelings straight, stop daydreaming as much, and be a good friend when you see it happening to them! This goes for ourselves too, if you’re thinking, “Oh I don’t day dream and create false hopes,” you lie! Sure guys may not do it as much but girls…we’re all guilty of this! Save yourself the pain and heartache!

Personal confession time! I am a huge day dreamer!!! I come up with all sorts of stuff for every scenario you can imagine!! I enjoy it! BUT I also confess it has caused me heartache and total unnecessary pain because I’ve gotten ahead of not only myself but ahead of what God had for me and thought my plan was ‘better’. Silly me but, cut me a little slack? I drive roughly 4 hours a day…what’s a girl to do right? I’m getting better at not day dreaming so much though. Instead I put in a good praise and worship CD and pray and think about stuff like…what to blog about  (and work of course).

Lady of Contentment offers an eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not defraud thyself.

“Whether married or single, one must learn that it is Jesus who strengthens you to walk in the most dismal or delightful of circumstances. True contentment is learned. You are not born with it and you cannot buy it at one of Kmart’s blue-light specials. Your classroom for learning is your daily life. Every shattered dream or unfulfilled expectation serves as a perfect opportunity to learn contentment. These circumstances are your classroom assignments for learning the mystery of contentment. Learning contentment will require complete dependence upon Jesus, for difficult circumstances without the strength of Jesus can rob you of potential contentment. Do not be deceived into thinking you do not need Jesus’ strength to face the good circumstances as well as the bad. When the sun is shining with no clouds in sight, you may assume that you can securely bask in the sunshine without any prospect of rain; however, this full feeling can easily breed a tendency to ignore Jesus. “Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’” (Prov. 30:9a)”

Ahhh Learning contentment and trusting in the lord is just what I’ve been practicing and trying to learn. (Retreat!) I have been so blessed with great family, friends, and church family, and positive surroundings to help train me to become a lady of contentment. No lie, It’s hard! I told you I’m a day dreamer but I’m learning.

Learning every day with your help, self-help, and most of all, Jesus’ help; we can learn to be women of contentment.

My Lady of Contentment Prayer: Heavenly father please guide my thoughts and words to not get ahead of your will. Please grant me peace and patience to see that your plan is not disregarded by mine and my fantasies. AMEN!

Laura Kay