Lady Of Faith

It has been a while since I updated but I have not shirked on my readings! I have been very busy lately though so I’ll do a quick synopsis before getting into the most recent chapter of Lady in Waiting.

I left last Thursday, heading to Dallas to join and help my mom and her boyfriend Joey, in taking care of his two granddaughters. We hit up the zoo and the aquarium; the weekend was packed and exhausting! Here are a few pictures and video!

I had a great time but on the last day I started to feel crummy. I started taking meds which held off the illness for a few days, I suppose. I felt very sick Tuesday night, toughed it out Wednesday and woke up Thursday feeling like a train had run me over!! I went to the doctor who informed me that I had a bacterial infection that was causing me to feel so bad! I was terribly achy, headache, couch, sore throat, you name it! Anyway, I stayed home trying to sleep of the illness (with the help of my prescriptions) for a few days and I’m still trying to recover. Blah! But as I said this hasn’t stopped me from my readings!

First off, I finished all four books in the Twilight series. (Yay me!!) All in all I really liked the series and I don’t think I’ve read that much my entire life! My favorite books were the first one, Twilight, and the third one, Eclipse. I love the Cullen’s, enough said.

The next chapter in the book Lady in Waiting I’ve been reading is about being a Lady of Faith. I don’t have a whole lot to say about this chapter, it wasn’t that long but the message was pretty strong and clear. The author talks about spouse-hunting and how women try to place themselves in the path of where Mr. Right may be. I have to say I agree that girls, myself included, do this and are constantly looking for a new place to meet someone or make things go our way. In doing so we are undermining Gods will and cluttering our vision with fear and doubt that God will provide a spouse for us! All unintentionally of course! I trust God to provide what I need and that he knows best (whether that means marrying or not), so why am I and other women trying to help him out by placing ourselves in “hot spots”? We’re scared he’s forgotten about us and our love story that he wrote. We need to remind ourselves that he has it under control, not us. What we as single women think is right and what he knows is right are sometimes different. If we keep our eyes clear of doubt and fear and focus on our faith in him, he will provide what he knows we need. There’s no need to keep strategically placing yourself in the path you may think Mr. Right may be! In doing so, we may be going in the wrong direction completely because we’re not focused on the right Mr. Right.

Think about it!

Ok I wanted to wrap things up in expressing my excitement, joy, and thankfulness to the Lord about my church’s new sanctuary being finished!!! It has been years in the making and is beautiful and a blessing from God! I’m bummed I’m sick tonight and not at the dedication ceremony but I’m excited about the Silent Auction fundraiser tomorrow night and services on Sunday(I’m determined to be feeling better for these events). I’ll post pictures of the new sanctuary as soon as I get some! Praise him! WE have much to be thankful for.

I leave you with a picture I couldnt help but post! It's of my KidsRHis class Wednesday night, it has my 4 little blonde girls who asked if we could all put the peace sign up in the picture "because it's cool" I wish you could see their peace signs clearer but..I thought it was funny! They are totally in with the times! hehe

God Bless!

Lady of Diligence

It’s been two days since I read the next Chapter in my book Lady in Waiting; thoughts gathered and ready to go!

When I read the chapter about being a Lady of Diligence I was so excited to be listening to the first sounds of spring! A thunderstorm blessed the south plains that night and the thunder excited me! I couldn’t help but let my thoughts drift to Vampires playing baseball, I’ll confess. Since I already mentioned the Vampires of Twilight, I’ll let everyone know yes I finished the first book…and the second. I couldn’t resist buying it when I saw it at Target- 20% off!! I am making myself be patient to buy the third…until tomorrow.

Ok so Lady of Diligence; what does Diligence mean? I kind of knew…kind of. Dictionary.com says “dil-i-gence” is defined as: constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken; persistent exertion of body or mind. Some synonyms of the word include: conscientiousness, thoroughness, attentiveness, carefulness. Being a Lady of Diligence according to the author in this chapter is being seen as making the most of the time you’ve been given- being attentive, careful and conscious about your decisions. The coordinating bible verse is as follows:

Ephesians 5:15-17 Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish but understand what the Lord’s will is.

When I first read this verse I couldn’t help but stop at the last group of words “understand what the Lord’s will is.” Well what is the Lords will? I’m all up for making the most of an opportunity but here’s the thing: I have control issues. Some of you are reading this saying, “Laura? Control issues? NO WAY!” But those of you who know me well are nodding your head aren’t you? I wish I knew the Lords will and grand plan for me; my life story that he wrote when he created me, I want to know! I try to figure out his plan like a guessing game, always analyzing everything I do trying to piece things together and possible ways everything could go depending on what I do. That’s another part of me, analyzing. This takes up a lot of my time and I should work on not doing it so much if that’s possible. I have a degree in Psychology; what could you expect? I’ve been taught to analyze even more than I already did on my own!

Anyway getting back on track, the chapter discussed being single and making the most of my time. If I stopped analyzing and worrying so much I could do this more and I believe I will put forth an earnest effort to do so, so I can do just that, make the most of my time. Let’s see what kind of guidance the author gives on this:

“The single woman can be involved in the Lord’s work on a level that a married woman cannot because of the distractions and responsibilities of being a wife and mother. Ironically, some single women can be so distressed by their single state they become emotionally more distracted than a wife and mother of four children.”

Interesting point huh? I will admit I have let my “singularity” get the best of me at times and was not using my time wisely-making the most of things. Let’s face it; I’ve got more than enough time on my hands at times. I don’t have kids or a husband to tend to….so why not do things that benefit others in the name of Jesus-- Being a Lady of Diligence. How can I be diligent with my time? The chapter discussed many ways to be a Lady of diligence some being through the ministry of teaching, ministry of encouragement, ministry of prayer, ministry of serving, ministry of writing, ministry of listening, ministry of hospitality and the ministry of helps. As I read the details on each of the aspects I couldn’t help but think fond of myself in some of the areas thinking, “I do that!” Is that bad? I don’t think it is, it’s nice to be able to pat yourself on the back every once in a while for doing good things. I teach the kids at church about Jesus in many ways, through Children’s church, VBS, and KidsRhis; I encourage people every day through my work to the families I work with-which also goes with the ministry of listening as there is plenty of that happening as well not only with my families at work but also personal friends and family. I will admit I don’t do all of these things happily all the time though. That’s where the patting of the back stops. Sometimes I’m not happy to do them at all for various reasons (let’s make it clear that I do love it most times though). Even though I do things in these area’s that would represent being a Lady of Diligence I would like to not only go through the motions of being just that, but become it inside as well as outside; by changing the way I look at the time I’m spending doing them-more as a blessing less as a burden. Seeing being single and having time as a positive thing instead of a negative, my time will come when I can be a busy wife and mother! But for the time being, why shouldn’t I make the most of it.

As for the other areas of diligence mentioned; I’ve taken suggestions the book said about each and ideas of things to do and here’s my plan to enhance the things I’m already doing. There’s always room for improvement! As for the ministry of prayer-find a prayer partner; a friend to pray for and who is praying for you. I’ve got a friend in mind to do this with but I would GLADLY have more than one and am offering to be a prayer partner to anyone who is reading this! Seriously let me know! As for the ministry of service I decided to “adopt” my brother’s troop who is in Afghanistan, I told him I elected myself as their “room mother”. I’m proud to report I’ve already assembled Valentines goody bags for each person in the troop and will get them in the mail ASAP. (I do know it will take weeks for the packages to get there and Valentine’s Day will be in the past but they can still be my Valentine, after all they are defending our country!) I plan on sending little goody bags and encouraging words over every 2-3 weeks. As for the ministry of writing- I feel I write fairly well when I’m blogging and I can only hope that what I say or discuss touches whoever is reading it- that is one of the reasons I decided to discuss the aspects of this book online as opposed to writing a personal journal. I am very excited about the possibilities posed for the ministry of hospitality. Some of you know I have a passion for cooking. I’ve decided to put my name out there to those in need (through the church and to family and friends and anyone put in contact with me) who have just had a baby, or are grieving, or any other circumstance where a warm casserole or having something sweet around the house can be a comfort and lessen their worries. On that note if you know anyone, give me a name and phone number and I will do what I can to get things set up and in motion!

I realize this blog is getting somewhat lengthy but I have another related topic to get into! It’s about getting out there, not only doing things for others but also for yourself, myself. The author of Lady in Waiting says, “Countless single women stay home rather than travel alone into the unknown. (That’s me!!!!) They not only miss out on being encouraged by others, but also are not exposed to new relationships when they remain at home tied up by cords of fear and feeling sorry for themselves. Some singles see the lack of a mate as God denying them something for a more “Nobel purpose”-a cross to bear!”

I’ve already discussed what I’m going to do for others but what about myself. I find so much comfort in reading this verse over and over again:

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

I have been very brokenhearted and crushed in spirit for too long I believe. I need to put the fire back in my eyes and my heart so to say. Here’s a thought how: It’s called the “Paper Plate Mentality” described in the book which hit home…hard. Check it:

“Someone asked a single woman what helped her to be so satisfied as a single woman. “A full place setting,” was her response. She explained that she had spent many years of using her paper plates while she had good china and flatware that was stored in a hope chest. Then the lord showed her that she did not have to wait for a “mate” to bring beauty to her private world. She unpacked the china and silver to entertain others but also daily for herself.”


Ok, I know some of the people who read this blog, one of them being my mom, who has helped me the most in my own accumulation of things for a “hope chest.” I put everything in a room at my Dad’s house waiting for the right time to use the things, some of them being decorative plates which I love. They are plates for almost every holiday, none of which I have used because I was saving them. Saving them for what though? Ok in my defense I really don’t have room in my new kitchen for all the stuff. But should that stop me from using my Valentines plates? Lucky for me I will be out of town Valentine’s Day but I think the next holiday I will treat myself to St. Patrick’s Day plates or something. I love collecting new dishes anyway and don’t have any for St. Patrick’s Day. I need to bring beauty into my daily life to make it more enjoyable for myself.

Final notes for myself: Let go of things that are holding me back and embrace the time I have for others and myself.

I feel good about this.

Confession

I have a confession to make. I, along with a million other girls and women in America, am in love with a fictional character. Edward Cullen.

O.M.G

I was missing out on the Twilight craze, but now, I'm so in.

:)

Lady in Waiting: Lady of Reckless Abandonment

Lady of Reckless Abandonment

What an odd name for a chapter right?! This book is going to tell me to abandon everything recklessly?? Sort of. As I began to read the first page I began to get the message of what the author means by Reckless Abandonment.

“A woman becomes a woman when she becomes what God wants her to be. This priceless truth can help keep your perspective clear in relation to true fulfillment in life. Too many Christian women think that the inner longings of their heart relate only to love, marriage, and motherhood. Look a little closer and see if that longing isn’t ultimately for Jesus. Gary Chapman once remarked, “I feel very strongly that marriage is not a higher calling than the single state. Happy indeed are those people, married or single, who have discovered that happiness is not found in marriage but in a right relationship with God. Fulfillment for a Christian woman begins with the Lordship of Christ in every area of her life….No one, not even the man you will marry one day, can make you ultimately happy—only Jesus can.”

Ok so what we’re recklessly abandoning are societal views and pressures that have been placed on women. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say yes most women do think that happiness comes from marriage, love, and motherhood. I’m one of them who think that! I get such joy and happiness out of working with children and developing relationships with friends’ family and loved ones. It makes me happy. But what if I had all of that, and did not have Jesus? I do believe that I would be longing for something more because ULATIMATE happiness comes from Jesus. Sure other things in our lives can make us happy but for how long until we are wanting more? And how long can Jesus make you happy? Think about that!

This chapter uses the example of the Alabaster Box (similar to a woman’s dowry back in the day- a box of oils given and broken at the feet of a worthy man) which is mentioned in the Bible to drive the message across. It talks about a woman who broke her alabaster box at the feet of Jesus and poured the oils on him, because he’s the only one, truly worthy. Now…I would feel bad for pouring oil over someone in this day and age but metaphorically speaking I’m going to “break my alabaster box for Jesus.” Sounds funny to say right? We don’t really use terms like that anymore but therefore I’m putting Jesus back at number one in my life to demonstrate his worthiness, breaking that box, shaking things back up to get them in the right spot, where they belong! Things can get a little messy in life and let him slip down and even out of people’s lives but I invite you to recklessly abandon those societal hopes, dreams and superficial things with me and know that, he will provide all that is needed in life! In my earlier blog I informed everyone to pick up and move down on my list of priorities, kicking everyone down a notch, because Jesus is back on top! Sorry bout-cha!

Personal thoughts and commentary on the issue: I think that where I live and society today does put pressure on a young woman to be married ASAP and have kids and if you don’t, man something is wrong!! This is drilled into women’s subconscious day in and day out. I think it will be a struggle to recklessly abandon all of that because it’s forced in our lives through all sorts of mediums: TV, Radio, friends, family, books, movies, you name it. To help myself (and maybe you) I’ll leave you with this quote about the matter of marriage and relationships:

“You were not created to complete another, but to complement. Completion is Jesus’ responsibility and complementing is a woman’s privilege. A woman not complete in Jesus will be a drain on her husband. Such a woman will expect her husband to fill the gap that only Jesus can fill.”

As long as I can keep the first part of that quote in my head especially, I think I can be a lady of reckless abandonment. Join me! It sounds bad but it’s a good thing! (Maybe since both the words have negative connotation they equal a positive thing? Just a random thought.)

Ask yourself: Have you let Jesus slip down a bit on your list of priorities or perhaps slip out of your life? If so…consider reckless abandonment it may not be so reckless after all.

Start of something new: Previous Blogs

Last night I was having a phone conversation with a person (whom will remain nameless) and I became upset with them and quite frankly I was going to let it ruin my night. When I got off the phone though a light bulb came on: Why am I letting a person determine my mood, actions, and thoughts that much? The only person who I should let do that is Jesus. He is in total control over me not some other individual. I started to think about my life and priorities and felt that I had somehow let them get mixed up a bit! Jesus has always been a huge part of me and my life but in recent times and events I had been putting other people, work, or what have you in front of him. Shame on me!

After realizing I needed to get things back on track I started to think how I could accomplish this and make sure he is always #1 on my list of priorities. A friend of mine and I have been discussing books/bible studies we could read to help us get even closer to God. We have asked other people for reccomendations and one of them was a book called Lady in Waiting: Becoming Gods best while waiting for Mr. Right. I looked the book up online along with many many others and decided to just go to Barnes and Noble and spend some time there finding the right book for me. Those of you who know me very well know that I did go to the book store with a list of books and authors I had found online, ready and prepared to take a closer look at them! I had a list of about 6 books. Barnes and Noble only had one of them: Lady in Waiting. (A sign??) Since I really had no other choice but to take a closer look at this one book I did and liked what I saw, it was not only a chapter book but had a "thoughts to mediate" section, study guide and journal. Who doesnt love a study guide more than me??? Thats right, so I got it and decided to embark on a journey to become Gods best.

I will say this though...I also bought two other books: 20 something 20 everything which yes...is a self improvement questions to ponder book for figuring out your quarter life! Great place to meet people eh? Self improvement section at the book store? hehe Anyway! I also gave into temptation and got....Twilight. Come on! After all the buzz I have to check it out!

Ok back on track here. I got home and started to thumb through Lady in Waiting making a plan of attack. I decided to read the chapter, the correlating study guide and meditation for the given topic but answer the questions and thoughts the next day to give it time to process and develop a clear outlook on the topic! I read the first chapter: Lady of Reckless Abandonment which I'll go into more detail about in a later post BUT thats when I decided to keep a blog with my thoughts (mostly cause I type a lot faster than I can write!) But also because I enjoy feedback and encouragement from others, and want you to go on this journey with me!

So! I started to think about previous blogs that I had done roughly a year ago and wanted to post them on my fresh new blog because I want to refer back to them after reading the first chapter of Lady in Waiting. The old blogs talk about two things: Love and Career. Sure they mention God in them and his influence on my life but he wasnt the main topic or conern in my life. So as of right now I'd like everyone and everything to stand up, pick up your stuff, and move down one on my list of priorities, and get comfortable, because I'm putting God back at number one where he should be. Number one influence in my life; all good things come through him. So, hope everyone/everything is good with where they landed on my list of priorities and don't mind being bumped; but Im making it right. Deal! :)

Ok So here are my previous blogs, yes they're long, but I want to refer back to them when I start blogging about my Journey of Becoming Gods best! (PS. those of you who havent read these previous blogs....they're good, at least I think so!)

I'll be back to post about the first chapter of Lady in Waiting either tonight or tomorrow! Enjoy and have a blessed day!

One last thing: Not only will I use this for my book and what not, I'll use it as a regular blog so there will be other stuff thrown in (a good reciepe here and there and other thoughts!)

Friday, February 29, 2008
So what are you going to do now?? Current mood: thoughtful
I despise that question right now.

No matter what I answer, I get the feeling I've disappointed someone.

Why though? I worked my rear off in school and graduated early, FROM COLLEGE! I have a bachelor's degree in Psychology and minor in Human Development and Family Studies, some accomplishment right? Right? So why do I feel like I could have done better or need to be doing more when people ask me that horrible little question? I'm not sure, but I do.

I haven't had a break from school in a long time. I've taken summer classes since my junior year in High School. My life has been school nonstop and now that I have stopped and get to relax I feel like I'm being looked down upon for not jumping right back into more school.

What if I don't want to go to grad school? What if I find something else that makes me happy? What if, What if, What if…?!

Here's what I'm doing: I'm exploring my options! Looking at careers, grad schools, you name it, I've looked.

Shall we analyze this? Lets!

According to Erikson I would be somewhere between his stages of Identity vs. Role Confusion and Intimacy vs. Isolation. How awkward to be an "in-between." Not a teen still not quite classified as an adult? I consider myself to be pretty darn adult like, but that's just me. Anyway, so what does that mean? Oh yes I not only get to figure out the virtue of fidelity to who I am but also love? Splendid! So not even going there!

According to the theory of behaviorism I could be conditioned as a result of practice and experience. Well I definitely have experience of being quite critical of myself and being a perfectionist. Maybe in some way my environment has conditioned me to try and try to over perform and not be satisfied? Hm, that's deep, moving on.

According to Piaget's theory of cognitive development I am in the formal operational stage along with everyone else over the age of twelve. Thinking abstractly, drawing conclusions, and being able to understand complex thoughts such as values, shades of gray, and love. There's that love thing again thrown into the mix! Still not going there!

According to Kohlberg's theory of moral development maybe he would say I'm in the conventional stage mixed with a little of post-conventional. Another "in-between" stage! In one I'm trying to fill social roles and live up to expectations (obviously) and in the other figuring out functioning in society. Sounds about right to me, exactly what I'm struggling with!

What about Maslow's hieratical needs, what can that say for me as far as meeting all my esteem needs? Physiological: hunger, thirst, bodily comforts: CHECK. Safety/security: out of danger: CHECK. Belongingness and Love: affiliate with others and be accepted: There's that love thing again! Whatever, I'm giving myself a CHECK. Esteem: to achieve, be competent, gain approval and recognition…..ah ha! No check there, hence the lowered self esteem lately! But do my given check and no check mean I'm somewhere in-between again!?

Without going into other theorists such as Freud, evolutionary psychology, Vygotsky, and many more, I'm going to say it's safe to say, I'm an in-between right now. In between everything!

So this means wanting to yell I DON'T KNOW, when I'm asked that little question means I'm normal? Yes, I'm in-between stages, in-between choices, in-between school choices, job choices you name it. And it's normal. I just need to get myself to realize that and accept it then maybe I could see everyone else accepting it.

So what AM I going to do now you ask? I still don't know…but it seems a bit more normal not to know the answer to that question right now. I'll figure it out one of these days as I always do!

Maybe that's my problem, I analyze too much.

Here's what I know: I love working with the kids up at the church which has taken up quite a bit of my time lately, I love cooking which I've gotten to do lately, I love being a good friend and helping wherever I can and I've done that lately, and I love it! It makes me happy and I'm so enjoying it!

So, what about that "love" thing thrown in there so often for people my age? I analyze that too much too, that's for sure.

I'm going to stop now while I still think I'm normal.

--Laura--


Monday, March 17, 2008
I’m so going there: The missing half of the last blog Current mood: calm
What are you going to do now: follow Up..

First of all let me just say this: I still don’t know! But I’m learning lots.
In that last blog I said I wasn’t going to even go into the whole relationships thing but, relationships are a huge part of life so, I’m so going there.
In the past month, even since I wrote my last blog, I have learned a lot about myself and about others.
Things I have learned:
I can be the most patient person in the world and also the most impatient. When dealing with others (i.e. children), when planning, when performing a task, when talking, and when doing many other things, I am very patient (some may say even to the point of being a perfectionist). But I can be the most impatient person when decisions are not being made. When I don’t know what is going on, in life and in relationships, I can’t stand it! Communication is the key to everything! I have to know and I have to know now so I can prepare or move on or whatever needs to be done. It’s one end of the spectrum to the other!
I can be fooled. I do my best not to judge people according to their past, or anything for that matter. However they treat me and act around me, I assume that is who they are and accept them for just that. I can not decide if this is a good quality or a bad quality. I am 100% undecided! It is not my place to judge people at all but is it possible to be TOO accepting to a point where they fool me or I fool myself about who they are? That is the downfall. When someone turns out to be someone else, I get let down.
I have strong morals and stick to them. These are personal morals and values I have set strictly for myself. I do not impose them on other people, they’re personal. In learning what I learned in number 2 (people aren’t always who they pretend to be,) I found that when put under pressure my morals stand strong. This is a good trait. Right? I think so but sometimes I feel like the idiot who isn’t joining in with the crowd. Sounds dumb right? If everyone jumped off a bridge would you do it too? NOPE! But when it seems as if you’re the only person with these particular thoughts and values, I start to feel like quite the odd ball in the bunch! Regardless, my morals and values don’t waver, no matter how hard they’re tried.
Since I was and am still learning about myself and who I am, I decided to take a lovely personality assessment and see if I could learn even more. This was a very unique assessment as each question was answered, according to your childhood, and the answers form the results of the person you are today. It deals with relationships and dealing with others. It was a "color" test in that each person is 1 of 4 colors in the end (with an assortment of traits from other colors of course). Here’s what the test revealed about me in my relationships with others.
The Color Code
Definitely Blue
Congratulations, Laura, you are a BLUE personality. The Core Motivation that drives you through life is "Intimacy". It is important to note that this does not mean sexual intimacy. BLUES need connection - the sharing of rich, deep emotions that bind people together. As a BLUE, you will often sacrifice a great deal of time, effort, and/or personal convenience to develop and maintain meaningful relationships throughout your life.
BLUES seek opportunities to genuinely connect with others, and need to be understood and appreciated, especially by their partner. Everything you do as a BLUE has to be quality-based, or you won’t do it at all. You are incredibly loyal to friends, employers, employees, and above all to your significant other. Whatever or whomever you commit to is your sole (and soul) focus. As a BLUE, you love to serve and will give freely of yourself in order to nurture the lives of others.
BLUES have distinct preferences and are the most controlling of the four personalities, although they may not acknowledge (or even realize) the fact. Your code of ethics is remarkably strong and you expect others (not only your partner and those closest to you, but everyone) to live honest, committed lives as well. You enjoy sharing meaningful moments in conversation with your partner as well as remembering special life events (e.g. birthdays and anniversaries).
People like to feel important, especially to their significant other, and you have the natural ability to make that happen. As a BLUE, you tend to be very selfless, and your first thought is always "how will this affect my partner?" You would be willing to sacrifice going out with friends or engaging in an activity that you enjoy on your own to do something less exciting with your significant other - not that they would necessarily ask you to - but just knowing you would is a great feeling.
When planning something such as an anniversary dinner or a birthday party, you don’t like to go through the same old routine that everyone else does. You have a flair for the creative and you seem to have a sense of how to create an ambiance by adding special touches that you know will be perfect for the occasion. For example, you might have personalized gifts or you might recreate something meaningful that happened previously in your relationship. You make ordinary things extra special, which is very endearing.
You Tend To Blame Others For Your Unhappiness
As a BLUE, you hold high standards for yourself and tend to have unrealistic expectations of yourself, your partner, and how things "should be," so when things go wrong, you turn to others, such as your partner, as the source for your unhappiness. You might say to him, "if only you were more attentive / caring / interested / loving (you name it), this wouldn’t have happened." This is obviously not a great way to maintain somebody’s affection.
It’s Hard For You To Relax (You Require A Purpose To Play)
BLUES tend to be overly guilt-prone, and so if you are doing things that are not purposeful by your standards, you probably feel guilty about it. Ergo, you tend to require a justifiable reason to just play and enjoy life - which usually defeats the purpose and makes it feel unnatural or forced to others in your life. Your tendency to be high-strung in this way can be alarming to a potential mate who is stuck wondering if you’ll ever be able to calm down enough to enjoy a life together.
You Need Your Partner To Understand You
As a BLUE, driven by Intimacy, you seek deep, personal connections with your partner. That doesn’t just mean that you want to understand everything about them. You wouldn’t feel that your relationship was complete unless he understood you completely either. You should look for a partner who can move beyond superficial conversation and is willing to understand every bit about what makes you you.
You Need To Feel Appreciated By Your Partner
You love to give openly and always go the extra mile to please your partner. All you desire in return is that he appreciate the effort that you make to do what you do. You will be happiest in finding someone who is comfortable and open in expressing that appreciation and who doesn’t take your 110% effort for granted. You need to be good Morally, You need General Acceptance.
You Want Security
You like stability and security in your relationships and in life in general. You want a partner who communicates in word and deed that he is committed to you so that you always feel on stable ground in the relationship. You also want someone who will establish a solid (and safe) lifestyle with you and not force you to take high stakes risks, although, I would recommend that you be open-minded in this area, because some risks will really do wonders to enhance the quality of your life.
You Want Autonomy
It almost seems paradoxical, because while you do seek meaningful relationships in your life, and enjoy the company of others, you also enjoy your independence to do what you like to do. This is true for most BLUES because you spend so much time caring for others, connecting with them, and worrying about making things perfect, that you like to have your free time not to have to worry about those things.
Top 5 BLUE Turn-Offs: Being non-committal, becoming emotional unavailable or dismissive, demanding spontaneity, promoting too much change, abandoning them, being disloyal
Whew! Lots of information! Most of it is right on with my personality I would say! I couldn’t say it better if I tried! Feel free to think otherwise! One thing this assessment revealed that I already knew is that I am controlling. I like to be in charge and in the know of what’s going on. (Hence my need to drive everywhere? Haha) So, here now is my list of things I need to work on, now that I have learned all of this about myself.
Things I need to work on and tell myself:
Being patient. God is in control, not me, let it go Laura!
Guard myself better and instead of assuming who people are, let time tell, be patient.
There are people with my same values out there. Not everyone appreciates a good girl but the good girl I will stay.
Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up (although I so want to!)
Most importantly: take a risk, step out of my comfort zone and do something out of the box! It could pay off! I’m going to need help with this one! suggestions?
So what am I going to do now until the whole realtionships/love thing figures it’s self out? (cause I’m not messin with it!) I’m going to pass the time doing the things I enjoy as I mentioned in the last blog. It’s doing things such as spending time with children, at church, with God, cooking, being a good friend, a good daughter and sister. Also, I’m loving my newest hobby of painting, who care if a 5 year old could do it, its fun!
And what about career and school???? I don’t know! I’m still working on it but I know whatever I do, I’m going to do great at it.
Maybe I should become a professional blogger? I’m totally rocking at it!

Friday, April 04, 2008
Oh, the Places you’ll go! Current mood: chipper Category: Life
Oh, the Places you’ll go!


I do not think it a coincidence that a certain book fell into my lap this morning.


Let me back up. This week, in preparing for my class of 3-4 year olds on Wednesday for "KidsRHis" at church, I decided the book "Horton Hears a Who" fit perfectly into the lesson about taking time to help others. I went to the bookstore to buy the book as I began looking over all the other Dr. Seuss books. I came across "Oh, the Places you’ll go", and thought back to when this book was read to me in elementary school and also in high school. I did not remember exactly what it said but remembered the jest; you’ll do great things and go great places.


As I came back to work (cause I went to the bookstore on my lunch break) I went into my boss’ office and that dang book was sitting on his desk too! It was staring at me, saying "Oh, the Places you’ll go!" I shrugged it off thinking nothing of it. I’m sure they were planning on using this book as a motivator at some meeting, whatever; it did not pertain to me, right?


That brings me to where I am right now. Right now I am sitting in my office at work, quietly typing away at my desk with this book sitting in front of me, saying, "Oh, the Places you’ll go!" How did I get the book you ask? My boss’ son (who is also my boss) gave it to me. He walked in this morning and said he had ordered it and his dad had too and asked if I wanted it, they didn’t need two. (Obviously I’ve already read it because I rhyme just like the Dr. does!) Either way, he asked me a question when handing it over, he said, "do you know anyone who may want this book?" I thought for just a second and replied yes. I quietly took the book knowing the person who I felt may want the book was me. After all, this book has been popping up in my life randomly for a week and now it was being handed to me; perhaps because I did not pick it up when I had previous chances.


That’s why I don’t consider it an accident this book fell into my lap this morning.


I have just finished reading the book and have many thoughts about it. These are not the same thoughts that I had when the same book was read to me in elementary or even in high school. Nope, much deeper thoughts and also questions.


First, was Dr. Seuss really a doctor? No. There’s a pretty neat story behind it but I’ll spare you. Look it up if you need some entertainment. He was obviously a writer and cartoonist! Which tells me one thing, good advice does not always come from someone smarter, brighter, and more educated or what have you. It can come from a guy who rhymes and draws cartoons; it can also come from those who have experienced whatever you’re experiencing, even those who have not, even from a children’s book, or even a child. Advice and guidance are just that. It could be bad advice or guidance but if you don’t listen you’ll never know.


I’m listening, or in this case reading, since this book was under my nose and eventually dropped in my lap. So let’s get to it.


"Oh, the Places You’ll go!" By: Dr. Seuss
Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.


You’ll look up and down streets. Look ’em over with care. About some you will say, "I don’t choose to go there." With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street. And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.


Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too. Oh! The places you’ll go!


You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights! You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights. You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.


Except when you don’t. Because, sometimes, you won’t. I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that bang-ups and hang-ups can happen to you. You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a lurch. You’ll come down from that lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a slump. And when you’re in a slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.


You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win? And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…or right and three quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.


You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place. The Waiting Place…


…for people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a yes or no or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for a Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a better break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or another chance. Everyone is just waiting.


NO! That’s not for you! Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where boom bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!


Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.


Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t. I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ’cause you’ll play against you. All alone! Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot. And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.


But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.


You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.


And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ per cent guaranteed.)
Kid, You’ll move mountains!


So… be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So..get on your way!


THE END!
Whew! When typing that I wanted to break in many times and say see! That’s so me and what I’m going through! I don’t think life could be put any better! Bravo Dr. Seuss! He said it perfectly, even with his rhyming and crazy characters, perfect! Now to pertain this book to me (after all this is my blog): I plowed through school and college, now waiting. In that horrible place Dr. Seuss perfectly describes. Oh he describes it so well. And he’s absolutely right, waiting is not for me but it’s hard to un-slump yourself when you’re in a slump!


I love this book for so many reasons. But the number one thing is that it describes both the highs and the lows of life. It does not sugar coat everything and make life seem perfect, because it’s not. Let’s be honest, sometimes it stinks! I’m still in the same place I was before in my previous blogs with jobs, school, and the dreaded romance department.


Regardless of this slump, this book was given to me at a perfect time. I feel like the mountain I’m supposed to move is coming into view and I can’t wait to start.


Whoever reads this, if you’re going through a similar situation or not, I really hope the book has the same effect and brightens your day and widens your eyes as it did to mine. And remember to listen. The best advice or perspective can come from anywhere as it has for me, in a book for children learning to read.

Friday, May 16, 2008
Amazing Video..
Click or copy/paste the link:

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=15552926

No commentary needed.

Laura